Kids Say the Darnedest Things

The Scene: late afternoon, in line at the IMAX theater, attempting to distract the Fabulous Five (ages 9, 9, 7, 6, and 6) while waiting for the show to begin. In a fit of maternal desperation, I teach them the planet mnemonic, writing the letters on a scrap piece of paper. "My very educated mother just served us nine pizzas," I said.

The Girl said, "No, it's 'My Very Eager Mother Just Served Us Nine Pickles.'"

He Who Pulls My Leg says "No. No. It's 'my vicious evil mother just sat under pluto.'"

Two ladies behind us begin to titter. I look at The Leg Puller, and I look at the ladies, and I say "Works for me. I'm his stepmom."

The titters turn into full-on belly laughs as the usher finally and blessedly lets us in.